Motivation & Men

This article has me thinking...

Mind The Gap by Lauren F. Winner
Teaser (read the whole thing at the above link):
Gender roles — the concept of how men and women differ (beyond the obvious biology, that is) and, concomitantly, what their roles in church life, the office, and the home should be — have been debated for decades by Christians and non-Christians alike. But when we talk about gender and leadership, we may have been leaving out one crucial fact of contemporary life: Regardless of what we say we think about women and leadership, when it comes to college-aged and 20-somethings, women are leading in all sorts of areas. Let me offer two examples — one anecdotal and one backed up by hard research....
What should the church's response to this be? Well, I hope it's two-fold: First, women should get some applause for the wise way they're stewarding time and all the contributions they make to church and civic life. At the same time, we all need to encourage even young boys to devote more time to civic engagement and less to computer gaming. What we should not do is buy into a discourse that pits men against women, takes competition for granted, and tacitly assumes that only one group — men or women, but never both — can excel in college or take responsibility in church life. All too often, discussions of any kind of "gender gap" polarize conversation. That is, people respond to the news that women outnumber men in college classrooms with panic and decide they need to devote all their attention to helping men out. I'm not sure that any strategies cobbled together in the heat of anxiety, though, will get us very far. Perhaps the church needs to pause and notice the gendered leadership dynamics in colleges and in young adult ministries, and — rather than panic — prayerfully consider how we can affirm and encourage the contributions, leadership and gifts of both men and women. This isn't, after all, a debate about what's good for men versus what's good for women. Instead, it ought to be a conversation about how to create communities, and opportunities for leadership and learning that are life-giving to all of us.

I first ran across this article at the Boundless blog where they are having a discussion about it. Here are some of their thoughts (read the full discussion here):
Ted: ...In all honestly, if you found Winner's article to be offensive, I'd understand why. It tends to make sweeping generalizations about men and about women. The tone is a bit on the cynical side. It offers few legitimate solutions. Why did I publish it, then? Because the facts remain that percentage-wise, women are more involved than men in community leadership roles, at least in university and church. I think that's a real problem. And I'd like to see us discuss this.
Mike speaks a lot about the parent's responsibility: ...As to the solution? The author unfortunately is vague on this point but don't knock her; coming up with viable, concrete solutions is difficult. She criticizes guys spending too much time playing video games, but I don't think video games are the core problem. The core problem is controlling what young men do with their free time. Girls may be naturally more inclined to use it productively, but most boys it seems are not. I believe the most practical and simple solution, at least for the academic realm, is for a parent to exert more of their God-given responsibility to manage their kids' time. That means making rules limiting TV, Internet, video game use, and so on. That also means making rules (e.g., homework done before play) and consequences for not following those rules...

My thoughts: Well, I'm still mulling but I can echo the point of this comment:
Jammy had the following to say on Apr 20 at 5:22 PM:
I don't think Winner is writing about a surprising problem and it isn't new. Movements like Promise Keepers and Muscular Christianity (1900's) have tried to encourage men to purse the ideals of engaged manhood. Honestly though, if I were a man, I would hope that given the resources available to me as a child of God and empowered by His Spirit I'd be able to overcome cultural norms and expectations. I mean, I understand things are tough, but I grew up with out a mother and I refuse to let that keep me from becoming a Godly woman. At what point, will men "man up" and not be conformed to the pattern of this world? Society and the media tell me what I should be everyday, and frankly I fail, but I've another standard for living and being and I know it's more lasting than anything this world has to offer. Shouldn't this be something men are capable of doing too? Collectively and individually?

A couple things that I think I can articulate clearly...
It is hard to live as a godly woman in a world that constantly screams that you are better then men. It's hard to think on 'whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy' (Philippians 4:8) when the world via TV and a million other sources says that men are failures and not worthy of our respect. Our culture does not encourage women to submit to or follow their husbands. It does not teach us to be respectful to our fellow human beings. It is hard to find a balance between being an 'independent woman' and a woman who is dependent on the Lord.
I'm still thinking about what I want to say and how. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this issue - How does it affect you? Do you see this problem in your life? In your church?